Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Yesterday, my mind was open. I was pondering and searching for answers to difficult questions. I encountered several events through out the day that seemed to apply directly to what I was feeling.

As I was getting gas a young man came up to me. He couldn't have been more than 27 or 28, but he was dirty looking. He asked for some money so I reached for some cash and a pass-along card. (A pass-along card is a small picture of Jesus or a Holy temple on one side and a phone number to call on the other that provides information about my church). He took it and replied "Oh, you're a Mormon. Me too! So is my family. I severed a mission in Vancouver, Canada." We didn't say much more and he was quickly on his way. Reaching for the cash was easy, but finding the courage to offer the card was much more difficult. It was hard to see that returned missionary dirty and alone. He was obviously in some sort of trouble, my guess was substance abuse. His eyes were red and he was jittery. Even though he was a stranger I understood him. I used to be him. I am married to him. He is some of my best friends. Unfortunately, it is a common story. But now I regret not doing more. I should have asked him questions. I should have offered him more. He is all of us. I should offer all that I have. I should have offered all of my knowledge. I should have shared my pain and my relief. I should have offered the peace and confidence I now enjoy. I should have tried harder.

Later that night I took Saylor (my two year old daughter) to Chick-fil-a to let her play, (it's clean and free...two of mommy's favorite things). The stairs to climb to the slide where off set on either side of a vertical tube. She couldn't coordinate herself to climb from one stair to the other. She kept asking for help, but I couldn't fit into the tiny child space I could instruct her, but she had to do it herself. A few minutes later another child, somebody on her level, came along and offered to help her. He climbed one step ahead of her and then took her by the hand and pulled her up. The little boy did this several times. It came naturally to him and he was happy to help her. He did something that neither I nor Saylor could do. I watched this and thought that he just mirrored so perfectly our responsibility to help others. We are our Heavenly Fathers hands. He wants to help us and he can prompt us, but he will work through others. I was touched by this young child's selfless act and the happiness he brought to my child. I caught a glimpse of how God must feel when we love and serve eachother willingly. I loved watching the little boy "lift" Saylor up when she could go no further. This is example was the answer I was searchiing for.


  1. I think we all have that feeling of "I should have done more." I am proud of you that you didnt do less. So many people do. I like your analogy of the little boy and Saylor. It took a peer of hers to help her. Sometimes we are really only able to make meaningful impact on those who are in our peer group. The little boy did something that you and Saylor couldn't, and that by definition is a Savior. Doing something for someone they themselves cant do. You did that when you say the man for what he truly is, a child of God. I LOVE YOU!

  2. I didn't plan on starting my day off crying, but this made me cry. It is so easy to say no to strangers in need. I mean, I have my own problems and you should be able to handle this on your own! Right? No. Everyone is fighting their own battle, which makes us need to be more mindful of each others needs. I always get so emotional when I see a child helping another child. You just want to scoop them up and freeze them in that moment to not let me grow up and be influenced by all the evil out there. Just let them stay those perfect little beings. This post was amazing. I am so proud of you and the woman you have become. I am just so touched by your sweet spirit and empowered by your words. Love you, you wonderful woman you!!!!!!

  3. Maddie - getting teary in the 24 hour student lounge is NOT something I am used to doing! That being said, this was a wonderful post - and I want you to know how proud we all are of your (and your family's) accomplishments. You have come so far - just the general attitude of your posts on this blog represents something so totally removed from where you were just a few short years ago. Love you guys!