Step One

Step 1 -
Main Principle: Honesty

My name is Maddie and I'm an alcoholic and drug addict.
I am a compulsive over eater and I am a co-dependent.

After much prayer and months of asking Heavenly Father to place the appropriate person in my path of recovery, (from overeating, co-dependency, drug addiction, alcoholism etc.) I was blessed to finally begin step work with a sponsor. Finding a sponsor is a very important part of recovery. This person acts as a support who can provide first hand experience in the recovery process. They provide a safe, confidential relationship as the guide an addict through the steps of recovery. I provide a link to the official Alcoholics Anonymous page regarding sponsorship because I am not the best source of information on the subject. I can on share my own experience so far with the program. Some might be comfortable admitting their short-comings to themselves and feel that is all is need to move forward. Experience shows that our sickness lies in our secrets. Coming clean to another human summons an attitude of honesty that is critical for the rest of recovery process.

Having completed my step one work I feel as though the curtains have been opened. I am looking out the window to a new world and way of living. It took a lot of digging into my past behaviors and my alcoholic way of thinking to fully admit to myself that I am full of faults and weaknesses. I am an alcoholic. Whether I am drinking or sober for 10 years I will always be an alcoholic. Admitting weakness or failure is never an easy thing. But complete honesty is vital if any recovery is to be found. On page 58 of the Big Book it states:

"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves....They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average."

I know I still have a long journey ahead of me, but I feel like the worst is over. I've identified the problem. All that is left now is the solution.

Primary Responsibility

Each day I am faced with thousands of choices. What to wear, where to go, who to see, what to do, how to behave, what music to listen to, etc. I have approached a fork in the road. Each step I take seems like a critical choice. I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to devote enough time to everything (and everyone) that is important to me. I feel the biggest choice I make each day is how I will budget my time. What will most of my energy go into today? Unfortunately, I often find that I am thinking of myself and my problems. After praying and pondering about how I can be more centered I was reminded of the Proclamation on the Family. In this inspired document, my responsibilities are very clearly outlined in one simple sentence; "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." After feeling like the rope in a tug-of-war, the previous sentence brought me relief. It is a win, win situation. When we choose to be devoted to our children we reap great blessings. To help put my renewed focus into action I wrote down a few main points/goals on the subject.

to be the best mother possible, I must do the following:

a.) be aware of Saylor's physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs

b.) be a good wife and example of a virtuous woman

c.) attend to her welfare

d.) live the lessons I am teaching her

e.) show her that I love her

As much as I struggle to be a good mother, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Motherhood has made me, stronger, happier, and more committed to my beliefs. I am so blessed to be a woman! It is almost too much to truly appreciate. Being a mother has brought me a sense of confidence and accomplishment. As long as my child is well cared for I have no reason to feel inadequate. The chaos of life seems to simmer as I gear my energy towards playing Hi-Ho Cherry-O with my two year-old. Even on the worst days, there is no where else I'd rather be! Being a mother is my primary responsibility.

Vegetarian Follow-Up

After 30 days of not consuming any meat I ended my vegetarian experiment. It was refreshing and it felt good to try something new. In all honesty, I didn't notice any difference. My appetite was is the same, my face is still covered in zits, etc. etc. The most rewarding part of the experiment was gain a sense of control over what I was eating. I felt proud that I was able to stick to a plan without feeling desperate for a cheeseburger. Now that I have introduced meat back into my diet I notice that I am thinking about food more and what I CAN eat.

I feel it's safe to say that at least for me, my diet does not affect my natural oil secretion and therefore does not affect the number of out breaks I have. When conducting this experiment in the future I'd like to try it for a longer period of time. Possible six months to a year.

I just wanted to actually follow up on one of my blogs. I feel like I always say I'm going to track my progress of things and rarely do! So, there you go! I actually followed through! Woo hoo!

Lolita Fashion

What is Lolita fashion?

     

      Lolita is a subculture of fashion characterized by sassy Victorian get-ups. This brave style originated in Japan as a small street fashion and quickly spread to other countries including the U.S. Lolita has been reported to be not only a fashion, but a life-style. A woman exhibiting Lolita-like qualities would be elegant and dignified. She would enjoy traditional feminine activities such as baking and sewing. The purpose of Lolita fashion is not to be sexy, but instead be poised or cute. Lolita dresse hem lines are regularly tea-length or close to the knee. There is certainly a sense of modesty to this quirky scene.Within the Lolita style are sub-styles which include gothic, casual, costume, sailor, and sweet.



Rating

     I randomly came across this topic of Lolita fashion and I absolutely had to comment on it. Overall, I give the whole mess a thumbs up! I think it's different, it's edgy, it's fun. Ever since about my junior year in high school I have loved bending the fashion rules. Buying goofy thrift store outfits or uniforms with other people's names embroidered on them. So this stuff is right up my alley! I love that it's modest. Modesty is key to my fashion. I am a little on the heavier side so I don't need to be flaunting my muffin top and ending up on people of walmart.com. I like to dress to my size. My religion also teaches that modest dress standards are appropriate for daughters of God and I try to follow that principle. That's why I love the frilly, knee-length dresses that accentuate my waste and cover my American thighs. I can't get enough of the vintage prints and unique details in each outfit.

  I would label this fashion movement 100% original. I would feel most comfortable sporting some of the more casual Lolita styles. My only reservation with it is the more extreme or "gothic" variations. I would seriously be creeped out if I saw those two pink-haired Japanese girls walking down the street!!

   

A Note About
Lalaloopsy


     Lalaloopsy dolls have been compared to the Cabbage Patch Kids or Raggedy Ann in popularity. Each doll's outfit and accessories reflect Lolita's innocent characteristics. There is a general "sewing" theme to each Lalaloopsy doll that correlates with the Lolita style of propriety. I would have to say that the success of this doll is solid evidence that Lolita fashion has reached the U.S. My daughter owns a Lalaloopsy doll, as do all of my nieces. When our friends see the doll for the first time they are often a little unsure of it.  You either adore them or think they are totally freaky. I feel the same goes for Lolita fashion in general.

Lalaloopsy dolls are avaliable at these locations.

Tempe Splash Pad

With these long hot days in the Phoenix Valley, it is really hard to keep kids happy! I have been so fed up with putting my child infront of the computer because I've run out of ways to entertain her. Luckily, I found one of the BEST ways for her to get some energy out and have fun; the Tempe Town Lake Splash Pad!! (Corner of MILL AND RIO SALADO PKWY, open 10am-7pm).

 (Airplanes!)