New Baby Thoughts

Sylvia Kaye- 2 Months

In light of recent family events ( the birth of Sylvia and two new nieces), I wanted to share a few things that have really helped me get through these first few months with my new little bundle of joy.

1.) Get motivated!
  If you have a shoe basket and at the bottom of that shoe basket are your running shoes....you're probably feeling large, out of control, and headed for your 16th "snack" for the day. Since our big move to Idaho I've really been trying to schedule in some mommy time. I've written down a food plan and committed to cardio exercise at least three times a week. Even if that means walking around the neighborhood while packing around baby in the carrier. Physical activity (at the right pace for your healing body) can do wonders for your mood and baby's!

2.) Got milk issues?
   Lactation woes are all too common with new mommies, but a few things that I have found REALLY help my milk supply, are drinking LOTS of water, high protien, and Traditional Medicinal brand Mothers Milk tea. Aqua is kind of a obvious solution, but the high protien diet I wouldn't have guessed. I've been drinking a supplement called Muscle Milk that 20grams of protien per bottle! I sampled some of my mom's and now I can't put it down (the supplement, not her breast milk. She's not even lactating)...Anyways, the Mothers Milk tea is sold in most grocery stores. Two or three cups a day of this herbal, organic, and caffiene free tea is guarnteed to increase your milk supply quicker than you'd expect.

3.) Don't be a hero, go for the drugs!
  This has been a little motto around our house lately. Drugs meaning anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication. The baby blues are becoming more common especially in those women who already have a history of depression and/or anxiety. You want to be the best mommy you can be and it's important to be honest with yourself about how many changes you can handle at once. I was on a low dosage of anti-anxiety medication during my pregnancy and after baby girl came I discussed my mood decline with my OB and she suggested uping my dose. It has made a world of difference. I can be a better mommy when I've taken care of myself first! Mental health should be a top priority!

4.) Listen to your mommy instincts!  
   Stop Goggling about your baby's milestones, how much she should eat, weigh, sleep etc. Parenting books are based on generalizations and although they can be very helpful and point you in the right direction they should not be used as the letter of the law. You have a bond to your child that no one else does. Relax and watch for your babies cues about she needs. A routine is a good starting point, but don't beat yourself up if you have to adapt to baby's needs. As women we want to do everything right, especially when it comes to parenting. The truth is we are going to make ALOT of mistakes before we get the hang of things. Whether it's your first or your seventh child, each baby is different and has unique needs. Listen to advice with an open mind, but don't be so hard on yourself when baby has a hard time latching or she cries for 20 minutes before dozing off. Do YOUR best. That's all that matters. ( And yes, I do realize I just gave you advice about not taking advice.)

5.) Did you think to pray?
  I'd like to say that each morning the first thing I do is kneel beside my bed in peace and quiet and pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father. The truth is I rarely have adequete time, peace or quiet to pray before my day is set in motion by my crazy three year-old or hungry two month-old. It can be very difficult to find the right moment to express my concerns and thanks to my Father in Heaven. I'll admit that sometimes the first opportunity I have to be alone is while I'm sitting on the toliet. My point is, that on the days that I invite God into my parenting endeavors things seem to be just a little eaiser. I have more patience, more will-power, more love, and more optimism throughout the day.

   Parenting is a HUGE challenge, but nothing will bring you more satisfaction, more understanding, or more love than being a mommy. Keep the big picture in mind and the little things won't seem so bad. Snuggle that little bundle every chance you get and remember, "This too shall pass."

Nelya 2 Minutes-Old

Primary Responsibility

Each day I am faced with thousands of choices. What to wear, where to go, who to see, what to do, how to behave, what music to listen to, etc. I have approached a fork in the road. Each step I take seems like a critical choice. I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to devote enough time to everything (and everyone) that is important to me. I feel the biggest choice I make each day is how I will budget my time. What will most of my energy go into today? Unfortunately, I often find that I am thinking of myself and my problems. After praying and pondering about how I can be more centered I was reminded of the Proclamation on the Family. In this inspired document, my responsibilities are very clearly outlined in one simple sentence; "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." After feeling like the rope in a tug-of-war, the previous sentence brought me relief. It is a win, win situation. When we choose to be devoted to our children we reap great blessings. To help put my renewed focus into action I wrote down a few main points/goals on the subject.

to be the best mother possible, I must do the following:

a.) be aware of Saylor's physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs

b.) be a good wife and example of a virtuous woman

c.) attend to her welfare

d.) live the lessons I am teaching her

e.) show her that I love her

As much as I struggle to be a good mother, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Motherhood has made me, stronger, happier, and more committed to my beliefs. I am so blessed to be a woman! It is almost too much to truly appreciate. Being a mother has brought me a sense of confidence and accomplishment. As long as my child is well cared for I have no reason to feel inadequate. The chaos of life seems to simmer as I gear my energy towards playing Hi-Ho Cherry-O with my two year-old. Even on the worst days, there is no where else I'd rather be! Being a mother is my primary responsibility.

Central to His Plan

walk away and hold my breath
appalled at all his nerve
search for validation
doubt what led me here
thoughts race for a reason
how could i have known?
hold tight to irritation
delay my own release
consider independence
a willing detainee

knowledge drawn from whispers
so much work to do
two must come together
it’s not been made forever
and it depends on you

there’s one who validates me
he delights in all my grief
planting doubt when ready
feeding all my fears
convince me of a right to pain
his lonely shadow seeking
destruction of the core

a meek and peaceful knock
grasps my breath again
apologies’ come whispered
enlightened by my shame
if i wish for forgiveness
then mercy i must give
only One was perfect
i am certainly not he

an institute of heaven
built within these walls
without the one’s beside me
there would be no heav’n at all
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Family: A Proclamation to the World


The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.